On November 8th, 2016 Donald Trump was elected the next president of the United States of America. On January 20th, 2017, he was sworn into the presidential office. In the weeks after the election results were published, conspiracy, doubt, and disappointment surrounded Mr. Trump’s ability to uphold such a dignified office. Slurs and insults were crafted and thrown his way, his nominees were heavily criticized both in their hearings as well as by the general public, and the phrase “not my president” has been splattered across social media, blog posts, and shouted at rallies and protests.
In the last 24+ hours since the presidential inauguration Women’s Marches have overtaken several major cities in the United States as well as cities abroad. Women, men and others have taken to the streets to make their opinions heard on a varying range of issues from equal pay to the right to choose to have an abortion. And of course social media is plastered with images from these marches, as well as opinions both supporting and disagreeing with the rallies and protests.
On a larger scale, citizens are already in a state of distress over proposed changes on long standing issues such as healthcare, education, environmental policy, and support of the arts. And again, social media is a platform for average citizens and people of influence alike to share their views.
As I scroll through these posts the wings on my heart beat ferociously, excited by the number of people willing to stand up for what they believe in. But there is also a ball and chain weighing down my heart that grows heavier when I look at both the changing of our government and the people who can’t see past the radicals on both sides.
I feel torn in a million ways as I try to digest as many differentiating opinions as possible.
From here on I will unabashedly share my opinion, here’s your warning.
Women and men alike marched together across the globe in support of equality. Please don’t assume that the views of radical feminists are the sole views of those who spent their time marching. Please stop saying that the marches are exclusionary and that you must believe in “x, y, and z” in order to march. You can disagree on the issue of abortion, but agree on the issue of economic equality and still march. Again, I reiterate that not all those who marched are radicals. In fact I think you’ll find that a large majority of those that participated in the Women’s Marches are moderates who do not agree with all the opinions of their fellow participants. They just felt the need to speak their dissent, and these marches were the perfect platform.
There are many types of feminist. Please stop shaming men and women who say they are a feminist.At its grassroots, feminism simply means believing in the equality of the sexes. You can do that in heels, boots, tennis shoes, sandals, dresses, pants, shorts, skirts, bathing suits, leotards, jerseys, makeup, dreadlocks, bald heads, long locks, tattoos, piercing, pearls, and so on.
I guess my biggest point is not every person who marched, or identifies as a feminist is a man hating, baby killing, socialist who wants women to rule the world.
Like many who marched, I have struggled to accept that Mr. Trump will serve as the 45th President of the United States of America. I cannot bring myself to call him anything besides Mr. Trump, or Donald Trump. There are a lot of things that concern me regarding the turnover of power in the White House and Congress But I’ve promised myself that I will wait and see. So many supporters of Mr. Trump have lashed back at anti-Trump criticism with statements like “He hasn’t even done anything yet”. And you know what? To a certain degree, they are correct. But I can not see him as an innocent man.
I also don’t see him as a stupid man. That’s why his empty promises, allowance of prejudice, and immature comments are inexcusable to me. Mr. Trump can argue all he wants that he never made fun of a disabled reporter. But that is not what the public saw. And instead of apologizing and using his influence to make a statement in support of the disabled, Mr. Trump went on the defensive. In fact, Mr. Trump goes on the defensive in many situations when an apology would have shown true character and strength. His defensive actions and subsequent inability to take criticism degrade my respect for him. A man that takes to Twitter every time he is criticized in a public forum is simply acting immaturely.
Trump supporters often also advocate that Mr. Trump is not prejudiced, hateful, racist, or sexist. Maybe he isn’t. But there is no doubt that a very vocal part of his following fed off hate and prejudice. During his campaign we saw his supporters heckling African Americans, calling Secretary Clinton horrible names, insulting Muslims, slandering immigrants, and more. Even if the worst was not said by Mr. Trump himself, he let the hatred of others permeate his following and did nothing to quell the anger and replace it with unity, peace, and acceptance. Mr. Trump undeniably played into the polarization that plagues our nation.
Finally, and what might concern me the most about Mr. Trump, is his view of women. He’s said it himself, Mr. Trump loves women. Apparently he can’t get enough of them. Can’t keep his hands off of them. And that makes me nauseous. Rape culture goes beyond the physical act of rape and into the way we talk to others, talk about others, interact with others. Mr. Trump’s derogatory statements about the way women look are distasteful and unnecessary. Mr. Trump’s quote “Grab them by the pussy” is abhorrent. I don’t care how old that recording is, and I don’t care the circumstances under which those words were muttered. They are disgusting. Do not rationalize it as “locker room talk”. Men and women agree that there is neither a time, nor place for such foul language to be used. Mr. Trump’s attitude towards women mostly worries me because of the position of power he has held, and the huge increase of power he has just obtained. Mr. Trump has been a respected businessman of wealth and means. He is influential, there is no doubt. So when he treats women, humans, as though they are objects, he is setting the example for others to do the same. Wether he means to or not. His actions make it seem okay for that guy in the bar to think it was okay to grab at me. His words make it seem okay for a man or a woman to verbally accost someone else about their appearance. His jokes make it seem okay to ignore a “no”, or an inability to respond.
None of that is right. A person deserves to be treated like a human being, regardless of their sex, their gender, their race, their ethnicity, the way they dress, the way they walk, the way they talk, and so on.
For decades the White House has housed families of decorum, class, and dignity. The Clintons and the Bushes are a rare breed of political elite that had an air of regality. The Obamas are relatable, and seemed closer to the public than families with generations of politicians, but still their family maintained modesty and dignity, true class. The Obamas also exhibited humor and perseverance. Mr. Trump is known for being blunt and crass, ignoring anything reminiscent of political correctness. For many this is part of the appeal. He is seen as a noble outsider, different than the corruptible politicians that have claimed power in the past. But I believe he is sadly mistaken if he thinks he and his band of cronies disguised as appointees can bully their way into success and “purify” a system under upheaval. For the same reasons that Mr. Trump appeals to many, he is also sorely lacking in the knowledge and wisdom required to be a part of the political atmosphere.
Politics is a game of complexity. It requires hard decisions, tact, and compromise. I have not seen an inkling of that in Mr. Trump, and that is why I have a pit in my stomach and lead in my heart.
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