Jim's Journal

George in front of Bill’s house

These are my friends George and Bill.  George is a hitchhiker I picked up on Christmas Eve and Bill (or Billy) is his brother.  I’m the absolute last one to advocate picking up hitch hikers and completely understand the risks but at 48 give me the credit that I can read people pretty well.  I was leaving an appointment in Midtown Atlanta when I saw George holding up a sign that read “Rabun Gap” – now being a backpacker and lover of the Georgia Mountains – I knew where that was. Its far, really far up in North Georgia. So far that I said to myself – “fat chance that guy is going to get a ride” – I drove past him and got on 85N.  Then a few minutes later my mind started processing what I saw.  A guy, a little older than me, with a bicycle helmet, a duffle bag, in the cold, at the exit for a highway. It just made me curious. And it was Christmas Eve, and I suddenly felt bad that this guy would not be able to see his family for the holiday. So I took the next exit and went back. I parked a short distance away and approached him with curiosity – I wanted to understand why, and hear his story.

Then there is Rich – the man on the trail I me just last week while hiking Blood Mountain. He came up while Ringo (my dog) and I were contemplating the beauty of being 4,460 feet in the air – looking out on the Appalachian wilderness. Rich said hi and we exchanged greetings – but then we talked some more, he opened up and shared a bit of his life with me.

Now – those of you that know me – know that as a kid this would never have happened. Even in middle school and the most of high school I was a wallflower.  Frankly – even in college I was the boy who came up quietly. But – as life has taken me into the world of sales and relationship management – I have learned to compensate. And its largely because I simply love people.  I love how they are different, and quirky, and imperfect, often broken. How they rise to occasions, love unconditionally, try and fail, hate and tolerate. Most of all, I love how they are made up of the events in their lives.  And I cherish when they share that history. I first learned this from my Grandma Millie – she always smiled at strangers and cooed over babies. I remember thinking it was weird at the time, then I realized how amazing it was. More about that in a minute, back to the story…

George told me he was on his way to see his brother and that this was his way of saving him the trouble of having to drive to the train station in the dark. You see the train station was right across the street from us, and there’s a train that goes to Toccoa not too far, but not too close to where his brother lives in Rabun gap. So George thought he would hitch a little closer and perhaps get there a little sooner (in daylight) so that his brother would not be put in a tough spot. He then shared that he was probably going to take a bus up to Jimmy Carter Blvd. further up and easier to hitch to where he was going. I asked him a little bit more about this choice, why he had a helmet, what was his situation – gently probing to see what kind of man he was. He shared that he didn’t have a bike with him – the helmet was keeping him warm and I accepted that as just part of the story that was bound to be even more interesting. So I offered to take him to Jimmy Carter Blvd., about 20 minute drive north.  Along the way I learned that he had a car that didn’t run, was probably unable to invest the money in fixing and in fact he was really enjoying getting around by bicycle. It allowed him to “see things he never saw at the speed of a car.” I realized this was a kind man, maybe not perfect, but I wanted to get to know him.  So by the time we got to Jimmy Carter I asked him if he would have a Chick Fillet with me and then I would drive him the remaining hour and a half to Rabun Gap. You see – I was out of work myself, didn’t have anything going on and thought I might learn something along the way. He accepted, insisted I take some cash to cover the cost of gas, what the train ride would have cost, and we were off.

On that drive I learned about George, his work, parts of his life and his brother Billy. We talked about everything from the art of machining tools, to the fact that a pickup truck is more aerodynamic with the tailgate up, to the aerodynamics of aircrafts, to farming, his family, chemistry, relationships, health, school, you name it. It was fun, interesting and exactly what I had hoped for. Along the way he spoke to his brother Billy via cell phone and let him know what was happening. Billy asked if I was Santa Claus, was excited that he was coming and then they both asked if I would like to take a few minutes to meet him too and see his property. You know I said yes…

Billy with his stallion

Bill greeted me at the door with “Welcome to GA’s version of Duck Dynasty” and from that moment on I was completely engaged in a warm and welcome interaction of horses, dogs, life experiences and southern hospitality.  George had shared that Billy was breeding dogs and horses up there – that he probably put too much of his finances into it and in fact it was all a hobby.  He was retired and this was what made him happy.  In fact there were at least a half dozen of one breed of Australian Shepherd and Hound Mix and then more Jack Russell’s running around else ware. There were several horses – including a mare and foul only a few weeks old.  This was all mixed in with a beautiful assortment of the kinds of things other people throw away – repurposed for use, art or simply living a simple life.  Billy insisted I give him my number and that he would get in touch this spring to bring the girls up to see and ride the horses.  Folks, I needed this – it was a difficult time in my life and these two men reminded me how wonderful people really are.

Just last week the day before my first day of work, finally back to work, I met Rich on a mountain. It was a perfect winter day: crisp, sunny and clear. Ringo and I were getting ready to go back down and well – he ran off probably chasing the scent of a critter.  As I looked for him it delayed me just long enough to meet Rich.  Rich was taking the last few hours of daylight to see the sunset on Blood. Its a relatively rocky top mountain with openings to see far. I had gotten up there late and was prepared to run back down to beat the sunset but after a few minutes talking to Rich I wanted to stay.  And then we saw a perfect sunset, and a full moon rise on the other side and the air was so clear we could see the Atlanta Skyline just under 90 miles away.

Rich had lost his first wife to cancer, his business to the 2009 economic crisis, his faith was stressed. He shared his concerns about retirement and when he caught himself feeling sorry for himself he would self correct and simply state he was incredibly blessed and had more than he had ever hoped for: Because he had met his wife, lived life with her. He was from Nebraska and still had property there. He had a home in Atlanta and in Blairsville (not far from where we were hiking). There were things in his life that should make him bitter but he knew that all in all – he had a wonderful life. Had I not met Rich I wouldn’t have seen that amazing sunset and full moon. More importantly heard his optimistic view of life, reinforcing that love and life is better when we look for good. Had I not have given George a ride I wouldn’t have met his brother, learned about his life and perhaps I wouldn’t have been able to think as clearly about my next career choice. In the end all we have are life experiences. All we take with us are memories.  My life’s work has been the people I’ve met and the relationships I’ve formed. The best times have been I see a situation from the outside in, take the time to listen and learn, ask questions with honest curiosity and love, looking for good.

Take a breath, ask questions, suspend judgment and take a risk that perhaps your point of view isn’t the only one.  Don’t be afraid to change – its growth. Don’t be afraid to share, most people care. In these days of incredible polarization and conflict in the world all sustained by closed minds – at least we can do it in our day to day interactions. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there – It will backfire on you from time to time but most of the time you will find small miracles.

Sunset on Blood Mountain